Letter To My Father

Dear Dad;

well i really don't know how to start
because we never really been close we always been apart
first off thanx for bringing me into this world
but honestly was i just a mistake with a another girl
you weren't that old you was really kinda young
so i hope that's the reason you weren't ready for your son
you wasn't there for my birth and that didn't appreciate
and my moms name was the only one on my birth certificate
even when i was young we chased you to Atlanta
do you know how it feels having Christmas with no Santa
and then we got there you was no where to be found
it was hard being in a strange place with no father around
this is a disgrace
because every time i look in the mirror all i see is your face
damn i look just like you
all i ever think about is how much i was lied to
then you got locked up and it became a reality
not to you but i realized a father son relationship would never be
every Sunday we came to see you
i was scared to death but i guess you never knew
then you got out and i aint no to call you dad or what
so i aint say nothin i kept my mouth shut
you did buy me a bike that kinda made me smile
but i seen more of the bike then i did you for a while
i guess that was your way of pacifying me while you was gone
but i got older and decide to move on
then i come home one day and you was in the house
so i guess no one ever told you to stop running in and out
by this point i ddn't even see you as my dad anymore
just a nigga in my house laying on the floor
then you left again but i wont surprised
and i would be a fool to cry no tears out of my eyes
then this time you claimed you wanted to do better
i guess we know how that worked out because im still writing this letter
you talk about when you get out and the things you gone do different
talk all you want but i really wasnt listening
ill admit you got out and tried to better yourself
you sucked it all up and left all the bullshit on the shelf
no drugs no drinking just working for your family wow
there was a lot of change in you then and the man i see now
then you started working a lil too hard even missing my games
they "worked" you so hard that it was a damn shame
then one day i was thinking we need to better our relationship
i told my mom i was scared that work was takin him
then we gotta call from my cousin that said you was with another woman
i just felt like leaping from the a building or the highest summit
i dont understand........
why didnt you want me........
was i not good enough.........
what did i do wrong............
how do you expect me to just move on
its the harsh reality that i cant erase
and why thats i finished this poem with tears on my face..........