Can Anybody Hear Me?

Its like when I look in the mirror My vision of myself becomes more clearer. I'm confused why am I here? Why is everything in My life built on fear? Afraid of failure but its like I'm scared to succeed? But I feel that money and women is all that I need. I was born to die so its pointless to try To work hard when everything is going to waste. To only be replaced by an infant who starts to set the clock on his little life the instant he takes his 1st breathe he starts to smell the not so tasty meal of death that's starts to cook the moment he takes his 1st look. Is it he that killed me or was it the lord who says I shouldn't live and more? Or did I kill myself by living in this life? Why aren't we born with a knife? So when can choose wether we want to forfeit this life that may not be fit for me if It was that easy I wonder how many would make that choice to listen to that voice in your head that's says "do it " but you choose not to instead you keep going break hearts and hurting feelings in the process from an infant you haven't really made that much progress. Then you try sex and its good but its less than you expected but you kinda got addicted to this girl that you mess with. Then she starts this mess with your sister who was born 2 years after you now you forced to choose its just something that you gotta do so now you like a deer in head lights tryna get your head right because either way you go you know that you left something behind and remote is broke so you can press rewind because it aint enough time and I aint got enough lines to tell about the how well you sell yourself out and made the wrong choice and took a bad route.
I use a paint brush because the pen aint got enough life in it so when I write about My life its like you live in it. Now that I discussed My vision more clearly. How many girls are scared to come near me?How many guys are starting to fear me? I wonder how many people can really hear me?

2009 World Champs

Cass Doing His Thing Again

Go Listen

Katrina, Katrina

She was born in the Bahamas raised in florida
The world was her father she was mother natures daughter
At first I aint think it would be that serious
but i guess the weather man aint know what he was dealing with
Monday, August 29 2005
that was the day that bitch really came alive
It hit my people hard especially Louis & Ana
We swimming in water and they getting it all on camera
I guess they aint have time for us they load was to heavy
Because they was no where to be found when the water came through them levees
The federal flood protection system in New Orleans failed at more than fifty places
At that point in time i started thinking America is racist
At least 1,836 people lost their lives in Hurricane Katrina
Then to make it worse they tried to pack us all in that damn arena
Are we supposed to feel good because we in the "Super Dome"
i was just ready to get outta there and go the hell home
but its hard to do that when it aint no home to go to
I wonder if it was a white neighborhood is this what they would go through
Hurricane Katrina in 2005 was the largest natural disaster in the history of the United States
I just wish "Poppa Bush" could see the tears coming down my face
I think Kanye was wrong about what he said
Its not just blacks its all people he wishes where dead
If you think about it this country was built on racism
so for me to say i hate him shit i might as well be with them

God Bless America.....

Tales of an Addict

I started off hustlin slanging the cane
i had all the women on me just screamin my name
fast cars and women you can say i had it made
until i fell victim to the game that i played
it was 1984 when this shit 1st started
it affected all races but blacks took it the hardest
but i aint care i was just making a dollar
and the money was easy as poppin my collar
it took over so fast that the feds aint know which way to go
because it was alot cheaper but it sold more than blow
this was a nice way to build my wealth
i dont see the big deal i might have to try it myself......
...........Damn man what the fuck is in this
i should have been doing this to begin with
in a matter of weeks i went through my whole supply
and i would do anything now just to get high
money, jewelry, and cars aint mean shit
all i needed was Nino to get my next hit
i never realized that it was committing genocide
all i seen was the wedding with that glass dick as my bride
when i looked in the mirror all i see is a crackhead
i looked terrible as if i was on my death bed
i fell off hard man what the fuck
but those thoughts fade away when Scottie beamed me up
so now im on the streets just passing the days
still getting high and still stuck in my ways
im starting to feel weak but i thought i was stronger
i think its almost time i aint gone live much longer
now im halfway home im 6 blocks away
but 12 blocks back is where i used to be
its crazy when you think what my eyes used to see
but im still addicted so they eyes used to me

Secret Fantasies

Warning: the following poem is very explicit and may contain material not suitable for aunts, mothers, teachers, grandparents, mothers....etc. so i am warning you its gonna get nasty

ok so i take off you pants
then i say well what about you man
then you look at me an say that dont even matter
now take me im yours as if you was on a platter
so i laugh and follow instructions
and do work with my tongue like my job is construction
so you start callin my name and grabbin my head
and now where on the floor and no longer on the bed
so now im inside you we join together as one
and i promise you will be satisfied as soon as we are done
you say go deeper and i do as you ask
you try to hide your face but there is no need for a mask
we switch positions now you sitting on top
you say im yours in my ear and i say dont stop
you say i aint gon stop imma go as long as i can
by this point the last thing you thinking about is you man
speak of the devil your phones starts ringing
then you look and see its him and then your heart starts sinking
then you ignore it and we keep going
we been at it for a while now is what the clock is showing
1:17 but we started @ 10
then a crack a smile.......you know......that shy lil grin
you say do you need a break and i say no just relax
now its time to turn over i like hitting from the back
you turn around looking back at me
and say pull my hair and i say ill do it gladly
you tell me to go harder you wanna feel it in your chest
then i say hold on baby i might need to take that rest
then you say ok baby you can have lil rest
but it didnt last long because you started licking my neck
so now we back at it again but im almost the but im almost there
you say cum inside baby i dont even care
so i started to cum while we still on the floor
then all of a sudden you hear a knock at the door.........
its your mom yelling trying to wake you up
then you get up in disbelief and say "What the Fuck"....

Shot to the heart

Damn this shit just hit me
i just realized that you really wanted to be with me
but the 7th word on that last line shows that it was past tense
because you gotta man now and you aint looked at my ass since
i often think back on how it all started
but i always end up on how we departed
i remember better days when all we did was text
i made you laugh i made you smile it was nothing less
it made a lot of since why we could go further
because the twin was your friend and you aint want to hurt her
but that still aint stop us from getting closer
when i had problems you gave me your shoulder
i had a crush on you since middle school
but you used to be mean to me and that wasnt cool
but those is just adolescent memories
and when we got older i aint think you would remember me
your girl Gab said "yall need to get together
twin the aint gon care" so i said its whatever
then you was kinda skeptic at 1st
you was worried about whose feelings we would hurt
you was the 1st girl to get close to my mom
the only 1 that i would really take to my prom
i guess thats why i ended up goin alone
i was about to be king but you werent next to my throne
yea i was the king of every thing but that didnt really matter
because you where my world just not delivered on a platter
i was stupid to think i could play with your feelings
but i always was there when you needed sexual healings
we loved each other but that was a thing of the past
yea we friends now but only time will tell how long that will last

Letter To My Father

Dear Dad;

well i really don't know how to start
because we never really been close we always been apart
first off thanx for bringing me into this world
but honestly was i just a mistake with a another girl
you weren't that old you was really kinda young
so i hope that's the reason you weren't ready for your son
you wasn't there for my birth and that didn't appreciate
and my moms name was the only one on my birth certificate
even when i was young we chased you to Atlanta
do you know how it feels having Christmas with no Santa
and then we got there you was no where to be found
it was hard being in a strange place with no father around
this is a disgrace
because every time i look in the mirror all i see is your face
damn i look just like you
all i ever think about is how much i was lied to
then you got locked up and it became a reality
not to you but i realized a father son relationship would never be
every Sunday we came to see you
i was scared to death but i guess you never knew
then you got out and i aint no to call you dad or what
so i aint say nothin i kept my mouth shut
you did buy me a bike that kinda made me smile
but i seen more of the bike then i did you for a while
i guess that was your way of pacifying me while you was gone
but i got older and decide to move on
then i come home one day and you was in the house
so i guess no one ever told you to stop running in and out
by this point i ddn't even see you as my dad anymore
just a nigga in my house laying on the floor
then you left again but i wont surprised
and i would be a fool to cry no tears out of my eyes
then this time you claimed you wanted to do better
i guess we know how that worked out because im still writing this letter
you talk about when you get out and the things you gone do different
talk all you want but i really wasnt listening
ill admit you got out and tried to better yourself
you sucked it all up and left all the bullshit on the shelf
no drugs no drinking just working for your family wow
there was a lot of change in you then and the man i see now
then you started working a lil too hard even missing my games
they "worked" you so hard that it was a damn shame
then one day i was thinking we need to better our relationship
i told my mom i was scared that work was takin him
then we gotta call from my cousin that said you was with another woman
i just felt like leaping from the a building or the highest summit
i dont understand........
why didnt you want me........
was i not good enough.........
what did i do wrong............
how do you expect me to just move on
its the harsh reality that i cant erase
and why thats i finished this poem with tears on my face..........

Facebook Crush

It all started on this site called facebook
my friend told me to go see how her face looked
i logged in and i sent her a request
something about this girl was special she wasnt like the rest
so one day i was online just lookin around
then a chat window came up and made that lil sound
she said hey do you know me from somewhere
i said no but i went to this party and i seen you there
she said oh.......ok well thanx for the add
and oh i like some of the pic that you had
i typed lol thanx for the compliment
and you like them so much then you comment
she said ok well imma talk to you later
and if i comment your pics then you should return the favor
so then she finally got off line
started thinkin adding her was worth my time
i went to her profile to look at her pictures
all im starting to think can i really get with her
couples of days passed and i aint from her
now we graduating we bout to start the summer
i keep logging in to she has been on
i even went to check her profile on my phone
2 weeks pass and im thinking she dont like me
she prolly gotta man....yea thats what it might be
but her relationship status say she is single
just lookin at her profile makes my heart tingle
well maybe i should send her a message
then she would respond boy that would be a blessing
matta fact.............. naw man lemme stop trippin
i aint bout to be off no girl she aint bout to catch me slippin
but i really would like to know her
and she what kinda guys she prefer
well i guess ill never know because this is to much
damn.....here i am again caught in another facebook crush

The Fetus

it all started in 1990
it was dark as hell i couldnt see
im in the womb but it feels more like a prison
they got three months to think before they make a decision
i just hope they take time and think about my future
because i can be the next king like Martin Luther
i can tell my dad wasnt around i never heard his voice
so my mom had to keep me she didnt have a choice
its week nine and i can blink and make a fist
it dont make sense for my dad to treat my moms like this
even in the womb i hear them yell and screaming
momma whispering to me and a night she always tellin me secrets
she said i was mommas favorite little accident
but she was scared when i came out the condoms end
she tell me i meant the world to her and it will never change
and that when she found out my sex then she will gimme a name
i wonder will i be affected by the drugs in my genes
well at least not my moms because she was the perfect teen
it wasnt but 200 hundred bucks to get rid of me
but it would take a life time of love and care to raise me
i guess my dad wouldve just payed the 200 bucks
because he just left with out giving a fuck
its September now and im due for November
and it started to get cold was all i could remember
im gettin tired of this cord in my tummy
and i hate it when she eat chicken because it taste funny
well its almost time for me to arrive
i cant wait to what it looks like outside
Octobers here and i think its her birthday
but i hope she know im gettin tired all this cake
Novembers finally here and im due anyday now
i cant wait until she drop me so i can hit the playground
it was all cool until the day she started leaking
im almost open to the world i can almost see it
we almost there push.....push....push
i came out laughing until the doctor hit me on my tush
i weighed 7 pounds 8 oz. with my head and every limb
then Tonia said " Damn Mae he look just like him"
she said Jonathan Keenan Downey welcome to the world
but im dreading the day my prince starts liking girls
11/22 i was born on thanksgiving
so i know my mom was thankful now its time to start living

Young Love

i made a trip on a special night
she told me to come over and i said aite
i aint know the way so she gave me directions
she said keep going & turn right at the intersection
so i got there and she ran to the truck
i let down the window and said what up
to be honest this was really the 1st time we met
so couldnt say anything that i might regret
so i played my game with in the lines of scrimmage
because 1st impressions seals the the fate of your image
went to her room and layed on the bed
she looked a me an smiled and the she said
"take your shoes off and lemme see them feet"
she was makin me laugh and i couldnt compete
we layed in her bed listening to the radio
she looked at me i looked at her we didnt know which way to go
then the word words "i like you" came out
then she seen sex wasnt what it was all about
i told her i would be the best she ever had
then looked at me and laughed
she said stop tryna get me with that sweet stuff
i looked in her eyes and replied just lookin at you is sweet enough
this is tough be we both know we can go any further
because the last thing i wanna do is hurt her
but right now its to much to think of
and though we feel it its to early to say we in love

I'm a Killer

They call it murder but i say its an art
i dont aim for your limbs i shoot straight for the heart
Im a killer and this is my profession
Niggas dont wanna meet me because i leave a lasting first impression
its easy to get away when humble and smart
ill kill a nigga wife and make him take part
no conscience i really dont give a fuck
been that way since the 1st nigga picked me up
ive been between cars seats and under mattresses too
and ak-47's is who i look up to
i stay on a nigga waist strapped up with a belt
and if they leave me @ home i just stay on the shelf
ive been in bitches mouths and @ niggas heads
and ill make them leak slow all over their threads
i took out biggie and pac was my victim too
even had a couple presidents in my field of view
i have been to war and made plenty niggas bleed
if death is what you want then i got what you need
im am assassin scratchin niggas off my list one-by-one
carefully concealing myself when the job has been done
ill never get convicted of murder in any degree
because the second amendment will always take care of me
the reason im untouchable is clear as crystal
ill never go down because imma fucking pistol

10/21/08

At 1st she was kinda outta my league
so anytime she would come around i would freeze
i think she kinda knew that i had a lil crush
just sitting beside her gave me a lil rush
so the years passed on and we both got older
and i couldnt help but think she gave me the cold shoulder
she had a man and it was complicated
but if you ask me i think it was over-rated
me and him was cool so i really couldnt hate
so i but organized a plan and i used him as bait
we hadnt talked in a while so i really missed her
and i can tell she did too when she was lookin at my pictures
i gave her my number her to text me
and she said ill get back at you but it wont be directly
so a few weeks later i got a text that made me wonder
it said this is ___________ and this is my number
i wondered if she like me or was she just a flirt
but later i found that she just had her feelins hurt
so we started talking and the feelings got stronger
and right after we kissed i knew it wouldnt be much longer
but she still had a man and that still was a factor
it didnt matter then i had pretty much had her
i forgot she had a man and her feelings didnt change
but little did she know that he didnt feel the same
i couldnt just tell her but i had to let her know
but i had to get rid of him and she had to let him go
talking on the phone and that certain subject came up
then she wanted to come over but i couldnt really blame her
then she asked could come and i said cool
thats one of the reasons i kept missin school
so she pulled smilin and grinning
but little did she know the trouble she just got in
invited her in and said make yourself at home
and i guess thats the reason she went straight into my room
took her shoes off then sat down
then look at me and said what now
i laughed and said iono
but this can go either way you want it to go
she laughed back i said what to you suggest
i dont wanna get explicit so i cant say the rest
but in short she went home satisfied
and i had added a couple of notches to my pride
i was happy that i was on her radar
so much so that she came 2 days later
time passed now it was the big night
it was hella cold but i was hot under them lights
but nothing compares to her being by my side
because she was there just enjoying the ride
then they called my name and it was time to crown me
but she never disappeared when all those people surrounded me
the hype died down and it was back to reality
she still wont my girl as bad as i wanted her to be
a couple of weeks passed and i finally got you
i tried to stop smilen but it was kinda hard not to
a lil time passed and now we saying in love
and she was on me hard just like a metal glove
but if you fast fwd to far thats when things got sour
we on the phone arguing every night by the hour
i told her i wanted myspace but she aint respect
but i understand now because i know she felt neglected
in the end we broke up which wasnt fun
but it ran its course and we had our little run
but after all that im glad we still cool
because i might need you to pick me when i start school [j/p]
i never lied to you i was always true
so im sure you will believe me when i say this is dedicated to you

............You Know Who You Are!!

Alpha

Im so nervous but at the same time excited to
i wish my friends could see what im about to do
the door was open and my uncle just pushed me through
whispering in my ear just remember what i told you
i bit the the plastic and pulled out the latex
now im standing there looking like whats next
well my dad always told me to practice safe sex
and she's older so i guess she could teach me the rest
i pulled it out and i put it on
so this is what he means when he said lets get it on
she was looking at me like boy come on
i said ok i just hope that i dont do it wrong
ok so its no turning back now
and even if i wanted to i know i couldnt back down
because she ready and she's laying on her back now
i aint know what i was doin but its to late for me to ask how
well its time for me to put it in
i cant believe the situation my uncle got me in
now things are really moving to fast
im trying think about how long im gonna last
now my child hood is a thing of the past
if my momma ever find out she gonna kick my ass.......
..........well finally i got through it
i cant believe that i really got the chance to do it
and just when i thought i had blew it
she said to be young you really know what you was doing....
i tried to hold it but i cracked a smile
the kind that won't go away for a while
i cant believe it im still in denial
i got my man hood but really i am still a child ........

[True Story]

Poison

She is driving outta my mind
my momma told me to say away from her kind
she really messin with my head
with all the sweet stuff that she said
i really dont know what to do
because all i think of is you
she's really playing this part
because she really has my heart
its jus something i dont understand
why she still want me if she got a man
its really hard seeing her with him
i feel like a ball coming of the rim
i told her she might be the one
but i was silly to think that him and her was done
i thought i had been shot by cupid
but i guess that was just me being stupid
chatting online and sending me messages
ill have to admit this is kinda depressing
you deserve an award for the role you played
if you only knew the trouble you made
all along she really had me goin
but she was playing me with out me knowing........

Tales Of A Hustla

Im dodging bullets every single day and ever night
i just hope i make home to see my wife
she knows i live a life with fast cars and women
but all she really cares about is how much money she is spending
bracelets from Tiffanys and purses from Saks
she spending all my money but what am i gettin back
sure every now and then i get a good fuck
but i gotta pay the bitch just to get my dick sucked
and plus i gotta deal with the junkies and the fiends
this shit aint all is "cracked" up to be if you know what i mean
my momma tellin me i need to stop and go to church
but it kinda feel good putting money in her purse
i know i shouldve graduated and just went to school
but i grew up in the era where fast money was cool
and i aint no fool i couldve did it if i wanted to
but when you hustlin' its all about what this money do
so many friends turned enemies this shit jus aint funny
gotta a lot of niggas jealous because a nigga gettin money
yea i go to the club but i cant enjoy myself
because its hard to dance with a pistol in your belt
sometimes i just wanna be just a regular nigga
but thats hard to do when you chasing six figures
sometimes i feel like my life has no purpose
but this money is so easy that it makes it feel worth it
i know im killin my society and yea its a shame
but this is what i signed up for when i joined the game
sometimes i asked my self why did i take this route
but i got myself in and it aint no way out
I kinda feel bad for myself and all my peers
but i gotta get this money aint no time for no tears
asked anyone one of us and we will all feel the same
because a Hustla is just addict addicted to material things

Suicide Note

Somebody tell God im on my way im about to kill myself
a loaded 38 just sitting the shelf
18 years now its time for me to go
i wonder if ill be missed i guess ill never know
i know some will be glad when im gone
and it wont take long for them to move on
i just hope my mom realized that i loved her
i prolly wouldve cried one more time if i hugged her
she did the best she could as far as raising me
now im gon before her and she gotta bury me
i aint wanna resort to this but i have to
because im feeling to much of whats on my neck tattoo (pain)
and to my lil sista i know im gonna miss her
even though she never let me close enough to kiss her
i guess its time for me move in with the devil
i would like for dad to throw the first shovel.....
.....of dirt because his hurt was pretty much the inspiration
and i jus couldnt live with all of this frustration
well im about to go its time to pull the trigger
but in the end all thats gone is jus anotha nigger
........(click)...........

...
damn what the fuck is wrong with me
the whole time this shit was on safety

Sincerely A Graduate

Now that the tears have flown
the caps are almost thrown
the cheers all gone & we're all grown.
No more moms we gotta do this on our own
but if we all work together then we'll never be alone
divided we wont make it but together we are strong
its time to move along..............
But i have known them for to long its harder than the song
Saying goodbye is always long especially to my moms
because im her only son but yet im almost done
it was kinda fun
its been a nice run
sorry to the girls for all the stupid stuff i have done
but i just became a man & my life has just begun
kinda mad at my dad but in the end im still his son
just wished he would have waited until raising me was done
i just wish he'd change the channel & stop showin me reruns
but lets switch gears
its been 7 years
and im still with my peers
i wish them the best of luck when they embark in the careers
i love em all to death no matter how it may appear
much love to my sister & i know she love me too
kinda funny when you think about the shit that we went through
i know i make her mad with the crazy stuff i do
i just hope she watch out for them boys and the men that she pursue
and i would like to thank the teachers and especially the administration
thanks for all the love and i appreciate the patients
it been a long time and a lot of frustration
but finally its hear and its time for GRADUATION!!!!

Sincerely,
a Graduate